Us Right Now.

We are moved and settling in. we love our life. we are living our dreams. its bliss. we have more blessings than we can count.

Inspirational Thoughts

Recently, i was reading an old friend's blog when i came across this blog that she follows. It looked interesting so i read a bit. and a bit more. and alot more. the lady who writes this blog has a powerful testimony. i can't even list one of her posts that is ESPECIALLY inspirational because everything i've read is exceptionally inspirational. all i can say is i am grateful for people like her in this world who inspire others to be better and LIVE better.

Cynic

i find myself having many inward thoughts about many subjects, some of which are people and things they do and say, and i tell myself i'm a cynic. then i wondered "what the heck is a cynic?" so i looked up the definition.

1. a person who believes all people are motivated by selfishness
2.a person whose outlook is scornfully and often habitually negative
3. someone who is critical of the motives of others

basically, consistent negativism (is that a word?) and distrust of other people and their motives, actions, what they say, ect. make up a cynic or cynical person. i guess a person could be cynical overall or maybe there are levels, such as people have been heard saying they are a "love cynic".

alright then i can call myself a cynic and when people who know me think, "oh that's crap" well there's the definition right there to prove it. except the people who know me aren't in my head. watch out world. you have no idea what i'm thinking and saying about you when no one's listening. literally. well, one person listens. so i will be judged for all these things in the hereafter, but some things just really irk me. some things people say and do, mostly the gooey, perfect stuff they say and do irks me to no end!

admittedly, i am more cynical around "that time of month" which could be why my thoughts are getting to me today and maybe that's too much FYI however no one reads this anyways right? well let me give credit to the one or two who do but how's that for a run-on sentence and cynicism?

i find myself having these conversations in my head with imaginary people who i can actually bounce my thoughts off of in a discussion where what i say wouldn't be judged and i wouldn't judge the rest for what they say in response but i would like to know what they think about the topic even if we don't agree because i just want to have an amiable conversation about even the most controversial or trivial issues... and where everyone was actually interested in what the others had to say no matter what the topic. i'm practicing run-on sentences today.

maybe the bottom line is that i am lonely. lonely for someone to be interested in my thoughts no matter how positive or how negative. lonely for someone to just LISTEN because they want to without sighing or rolling their eyes or getting hurt feelings because i just need to spout off what i THINK. my thoughts aren't always right or righteous or educated or funny or interesting; they're just thoughts that i want to share.

now for the rest of the story...i wrote this to keep from saying thoughts that i would regret so i could get some agnst off my chest and i'll go back and read this in week and be terribly disgusted with myself but...

ok there are no excuses but...

i'm sure people feel cynical about me because what goes around comes around. i wouldn't trust me either. doesn't oprah have something she says like "the energy you put out is what is drawn back to you" or something?

logically, i can see that my thinking may be flawed and that i have some work to do. here it is like it or not. cynism is the word for the day.

Motherhood

Endless and exhausting.enough said.

Q.'s Antics

i know i write about my oldest ALOT but she does and says the most crazy and unpredictable things. in some ways i know exactly how she thinks and why but in other ways i absolutely cannot relate to her. she is definately the most impulsive of my four runts and so seems to have more "incidents".



the set up: a few days ago Q. received her first bee sting. she stepped on the bee and it stung her between her toes. Superman pulled the stinger out and that was followed by an hour of dramatic crying, howling, and gnashing of teeth.



this led to storytrading by Superman and his brother to Q. about their own childhood bee sting adventures, possibly an effort to comfort her? Superman told her that a bee won't sting if you hold your breath.



which brings us to this morning. Q. comes in and tells me she caught a bee and held her breath. "it didn't sting me!"



great. a few hours later, here she is crying, howling, and the like, "THE BEE STUNG ME! I HELD MY BREATH AND IT STUNG ME!" sure enough, there was a bright red puncture in her finger not to mention the dramatic whaling and sobbing to prove it.



come to find out, she caught the same bee not once, not twice, but FIVE times before it stung her. i asked Superman what he was thinking telling her to hold her breath and then telling her stories of his daring "bee" catches. "i didn't think she'd actually go catch a bee; i thought the pain of the sting was enough to scare her away..."



he is nicknamed Superman for a good reason. he is our Superman. Q's idol, her hero. of course she'd do anything to be like him, to impress him. now measure out some six year old bravado and sprinkle on the impulsiveness.



BAM! there's a fearless bee-catching, tear-streaked face, little superwoman in my midst.

Another Q.ism

My 6 yr. old thinks she's pretty wise. She thinks she's mostly all grown up. Here's what went down at the dinner table, which, needless to say, gave her granma (MM) and Papa great delight.

P: You better eat your green beans so that you get really pretty and some boy will give you a kiss.

Q: What boy?

P: Your boyfriend.

Q.: I don't have a boyfriend.

MM: You don't?

Q.: Well, when i'm 17 my boyfriend is going to come to my 17th birthday party.

P: Whose your boyfriend gonna be?

Q.: I dunno.

P.: What's his name?

Q.: I dunno.

P.: Is it Ronnie? (Papa's name)

Q.: No. But if you come to my party i'll tell you...if you're still aliiiive. (said with a "well duh" sarcasm)

As we start to crack up...

Q.: Or i'll just go put flowers on your grave.

We were crying from laughing histeria at this point not out of sadness that someday they'll be gone. And Q. just sits there very matter of fact. i'm glad we can give Papa and granma some good times while we intrude on their private space and time. It makes it worth it. Thank God for them.

All the Little Things.

Those who are close to our family know that we have been "in transition". Our home sold back in April before we were ready to get to our new town. Some people might question whether we made the right choice to sell our home when we did. However, looking back on things, we may have thought we knew what we were doing when it was really someone more powerful influencing our choices. God has had His hand in what i will call our cookie jar and He has left some wonderful little things and a few big things there for us to enjoy.

This started back in Nov. of last year when Superman discovered a teaching job at Pittsburg State U. in Pittsburg, Ks. Something Superman took away from his education was his own desire to educate others. I have joked with him that i married an engineer not a teacher but i've known since we've been married that this would be an excellent choice of career for him. Well, this job popped up and he applied even though the deadline was past because he figured if it was still posted they hadn't filled it. The start date was January. January came and went without word so we let it go. That was the beginning.

We found our dream home in February and suddenly the University called with our dream job. Our current home was on the market a total of 6 weeks. It showed twice; once at the beginning and once at the end. The sale took 3 weeks. The other homes for sale at the time are still for sale 4 months later.


We looked and looked for a home in our new town and found one we thought would be the one. it wasn't. we were gonna be house poor, not something i felt good about. The home didn't appraise and the seller was disagreeable. We lost a little on this one but gained much more. I'm not sure why God keeps cleaning up our messes except that He is truly our parent. As a parent myself i get it, but only a little.


as one deal went bad we found our home on a little hill in some woods on 10 acres and it was significantly cheaper, better built and rural...very rural. Though the town is twice as big as where we came from, we literally live in the middle of a corn field prairie with its own WallyWorld and to Superman's delight, DairyQ.


Am i nervous about moving two hours from home, being in a new house for six weeks with just the runts while Superman finishes his work in OK? Absolutely not. There are no questions in my mind or heart...no doubts whatsoever that i am in the right place, making the right choice, serving the right people. i'm over-the-moon happy. sacrifices pay off.



it's all the little things.

My Married Daughter

Is that a surprise for everyone? It was a surprise to us! So this is how it went down...

NOTE: Q's quotes are blue, Superman's are red.

Dad, can i give CJ (the neighbor boy) this ring?

Why...are you gonna marry him?

Noooo! I'm alllreadyyy married!

WHAT! When did you get married?

Today.

To who?

Ryan Eddy.

Why wasn't I invited?

Daaaaaaddd...it was on the playground...

Oh. Well who married you?

RYAN EDDY!!! (exasperated)

No, I mean who was the preacher?

Oh. Steven.

(Dad nods.)

But Dad...you're forgetting something.

Oh. What?

GLEN! He was the music director.

Did you kiss?

No. But i hugged him.

Oh good. No kissing at school. Were there any girls around?

No.

I see. So now i can call you Q. Eddy?

NOoooo. He's Ryan SHAVER!


6 year old married life must be bliss. Oh my! i just remembered we have 3 daughters...